Pawlowski's Room Transformation

Here it is...

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Closet before


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Are you married?

I've been hearing way too many stories lately of men cheating on their wives with people I know. My friends have no idea that they are married until after the fact, and they usually find out in a way other than by the guy telling them. I just don't understand why this has to happen and why it is happening so often. I currently have no faith in marriage or any man for that matter. I know that women do it too, but I am only focused on the other side right now because that is what is affecting me. I met a guy in a bar last night and after talking to him for three hours, I discovered that he is married with three kids. He didn't divulge this information, of course. How can you even trust anyone these days. I feel like everyone is going to lie to get something that they want and I don't want to be a part of it. If you are married, stay home with your wife and leave me alone. Thanks.

Good things

Just waking up and I feel like I could sleep all day!! Austin has truley wiped me out! We went to the CTC benefit ok Friday night. It was really good to see those people that I had not seen since Africa last summer. I'm looking forward to Catherine going and us putting on the fundraiser in Denver.

I really wish I could just pick up and move to Austin. That would be really fun. I haven't really thought about Denver much since I've been here. I could definitley see myself here for a long time.

Focus on now and future

Heading to Austin today for the weekend. Yay! I am so so so excited. The FWD will not be seen. I will be attending a CTC Benefit concert tonight. Its really got me thinking about my trip to Africa last summer a how much I really want to go back. The cause has been very much around me lately and I have an overwhelming feeling of needing to go back. My friend Catherine may be going with CTC at the end of July and thinking about it makes me overfilled with emotion. I know how much she wants to go and she has no idea what she will get out of it. There is really no way to know until you go there and experience it for yourself.

Its truly amazing how people pull together and support a cause that is so distant and hard to wrap your head around. I hope that I can do my prt in continuing to spread the word and affecting lives of those less fortunate than I.

Affect the things you have control of

I had to write this thought down before I forget. Often times when a relationship ends we rush to tell ourselves "we deserve better." well, its not like better will instantly appear at our doorsteps. Instead, I like to think that he or she doesn't deserve better than who they are and as long as we stick around and continue to be a part of their lives, we are giving them just that. Control the things you can and don't allow someone to have better than they are when they can't give that to you. Stay strong and don't look back. It will turn into an "I WIN." So there.

Another phase?

Okay...not sure what is going on but Denver still isn't working for me. Is it the city or is it me? Maybe it's a little bit of both.

I am going back to Austin this weekend. I am really looking forward to the trip and have a feeling that I will want to move there sooner than later. I wish I could just finally find a place that feels like home and just settle down. I was hoping that it would be Denver but now I'm not so sure.

I need a sign. That's all I'm sayinnn.

Its 11:18pm and I'm still awake

I took the CR version of Ambien which I have never taken before. Hopefully it doesn't fuck with me and make me go into the kitchen to scarf down a bag of cookies. I'm just sayinnn...I've heard the stories. I think I planned my day quite well. Sleep late, eat, take a nap, eat, now be wide awake for bedtime. I'm so responsible.